I randomly scrolled through your pieces to find one that might catch my attention. I’m glad I did.
Although this was written 6 month ago, the raw emotion resonates.
If you care to share, I’d love to hear where you are in your journey presently. If not no worries.
Side Note: My first career was as a copywriter for a B2B firm. I made it 3.5 years but eventually I came to the realization that a traditional office job wasn’t for me 😮💨
Hi Jamal! I had to reread my post to remember what I had even written and where I was 6 months ago. And then as I started to answer, I wasn't sure what to say in terms of where I am right now. But I'll give it a go.
I think I have much more clarity around what moves me than I did then, when I made that subtle but important shift in direction. As for where I am now, I think outwardly probably fairly close to where I was then but definitely with less of an internal pressure to achieve. (Notably, though my Substack has still not "taken off", it has finally gotten unstuck.) Inwardly, I have made a huge leap in terms of embracing my multi-hyphenate self and embracing more of all my "past lives" into my current work. I've gotten over the fear of sharing my poetry publicly. This may require a whole follow-up post.
Funnily enough, copywriting is the most "traditional" job (albeit, freelance) that I've ever had. And I'm finding that it really works for me right now to not have to think about all the other things that come with startup life—which had been my dream for the longest time.
Thanks for the comment! It was my birthday recently and I have been thinking about exactly this (you'd think I'd have a better answer haha)..as well as deciding where to go next. And that, I am more clear on.
2) That's amazing! I'm glad you found yourself moved to explore your inner workings as a result of your experience.
3) As I read your response I was shook by how many commonalities we shared.
- I didn't feel comfortable calling myself a poet until a month and a half ago (and then wrote about it), much less share my poetry.
- My birthday was on the 21st
- One of my dreams earlier in my professional life was to create a startup. That led me to engulf anything thing startup related (i.e. podcasts, newsletters, etc.) Now I don't take any of it in - it gives me the yucks for the most part. Groups like indiehackers are awesome though.
- This year was about embracing the moniker "artist/writer" as it was something I never considered myself to be.
Okay, now that I have recovered from the great coincidence that is discovering we have the same birthday, I am back and settled into a few more thoughts/notes related to your Q (consider this the semi-official follow-up to this post?):
I also felt my original answer was kind of vague mostly because I hadn’t really thought through it fully enough, but I always like to make things tangible. So tangibly: since this post 6+ months ago, I’ve lost 1 paid subscriber (gained none), more than doubled my free subscribers, doubled my recommendations. Practically, I’ve taken on another freelance contract which means for now I’m in no rush to make money. When I wrote the post, I was feeling some anxiety around a) aging (after discovering that medically I am considered geriatric haha) and b) everyone saying AI was going to take over and therefore had set a deadline to make x amount of money so that I would have a plan B when the gigs stop coming. What actually happened is I didn’t come financially any closer to making a significant amount of money on Substack. So still figuring it out! BUT what I have settled on is only writing things I feel compelled to write, and getting super clear about what moves me. (Also getting super clear on my ideal reader for my creative goals, not for metrics.) For now, I’ve also detached from content and editorial calendars and growth tactics (not on Notes except to reply when tagged). Strategically I don’t think it makes sense to be that strict on myself until at least my readership gets to the point where the trade off makes sense. I’d rather be loose and gentle about it until I achieve, as they say, “proof of concept”. So I’m currently looking at 1000 free subs as my first internal milestone where I’ll attempt another push for paid (I have a paid subscription offering I’m super excited about but realize it makes no sense to launch it now). And then re-strategize from there but otherwise just to write what I feel like writing. In the meantime, I’m making money and surviving in other ways, learning to make art for the first time (a project separate to Substack but that can be connected), and buying art because I can happily afford to do so (something I touched on in this post, the irony that many of the artists I look up to who are heavily bylined and “famous” but don’t have that same privilege).
This is where I have landed for now, but it’s taking me longer than I thought to make the transition, which is part of the anxiety (ie maybe I’m just not cut out). I honestly think there are still many parts of me and my brain that are so heavily influenced by tech/startup/growth culture that they are negatively impacting my growth in other ways. (Like my desire to keep up with the content machine is directly at odds with the deep work that’s required to make art.) I’m learning to untangle from them.
To your point, I have a feeling that there are many more people like us who are recently starting to embrace the “artist” moniker. :) This notion is exciting!
Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. I am now just as curious about your medically diagnosed geriatric-ness (no need to share if it's private) as I am about your creative journey.
I LOVE that you're moving towards writing things that move you too. Most would think that'd be easy to do but, like you mentioned, the residuals of a business mindset can make it challenging.
I'm also hopeful for your untangling and can only imagine how your other art project will bless you in that pursuit!
It’s a strange experience looking somewhat young but entering an age where as a woman, if I were to have children, it’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy aka “advanced maternal age”. (Over 35.) I was kind of shocked to learn this because I don’t feel that old. But it was definitely a reminder: hey, time’s ticking! Haha.
Jamal, I’m so glad you shared this when you did. And how funny, I too am a retired copywriter and what is it about us that moves me! In the business of moving people - yes 🔥
Hey Ana, I'm glad Jamal restacked this! I haven't been on substack long and I'm still trying to understand the app, it's functionalities and opportunities and this gave me some clarity. Thanks for sharing your journey with us :)
“I am not a product.” This resonated so hard! Like, why is everything about now about sales? And I am secretly wondering if this search for monetizing is the right path? Arn’t we as artists and poets supposed to be poor? Live 27 odd years and die poor as well? I guess the suffering artist path isn’t the answer, neither is measuring your worth based on data. My brain’s running wild now - thank you for this! Loved reading every bit of it!!
I feel like I've recently realized that it's a very different thing to be an artist running a business vs a business trying to make art. I've always tended to see things through the lens of business, and money (then likes/engagement) as a form of validation. But maybe the artist in me, the one that cares more about self-validation (ie. is this true and real to me?), is just dying to get out. I've based entire career decisions on trying to stay away from the suffering artist path (side gigs, multiple jobs, getting into tech) but to some degree I feel like it's almost necessary that artists allow ourselves to suffer a bit, in ways including but not limited to financial suffering. For me, it was getting out of the startup grind, and now slowly yet steadily, detaching myself from the startup mentality. Suffering is a form of aliveness and if I want the good stuff, I'm going to have to learn how to deal with putting things out and getting no external validation and doing it anyway regardless of "the data doesn't support moving forward with this". The trick is figuring out how not to suffer too much whilst in the throes haha.
2024 is the year I get closer, I think!! Happy to have you here. <3
Wowowow ! This post has summed up everything that we have been going through as well! But wowie! The line about expansion! The line about softness! THIS “but have I not already succeeded in getting to spend my days doing things I enjoy?”!!!!!!! It’s all so good! Love love the new name as well
Ps. We reached out to you on instagram a few days ago but from the post I’m guessing there should be a better platform to connect with you (one which doesn’t require quite so much transaction). Pls let us know! We are truly big big fans
<3 Thank you! This means so much. Likewise, I’m a big fan of PTK too! I’ve been off IG for a few months now but can always be reached via email ana@ana-wang.com. (I think replies to the newsletters auto-forward to me too.) Looking forward!
I randomly scrolled through your pieces to find one that might catch my attention. I’m glad I did.
Although this was written 6 month ago, the raw emotion resonates.
If you care to share, I’d love to hear where you are in your journey presently. If not no worries.
Side Note: My first career was as a copywriter for a B2B firm. I made it 3.5 years but eventually I came to the realization that a traditional office job wasn’t for me 😮💨
Hi Jamal! I had to reread my post to remember what I had even written and where I was 6 months ago. And then as I started to answer, I wasn't sure what to say in terms of where I am right now. But I'll give it a go.
I think I have much more clarity around what moves me than I did then, when I made that subtle but important shift in direction. As for where I am now, I think outwardly probably fairly close to where I was then but definitely with less of an internal pressure to achieve. (Notably, though my Substack has still not "taken off", it has finally gotten unstuck.) Inwardly, I have made a huge leap in terms of embracing my multi-hyphenate self and embracing more of all my "past lives" into my current work. I've gotten over the fear of sharing my poetry publicly. This may require a whole follow-up post.
Funnily enough, copywriting is the most "traditional" job (albeit, freelance) that I've ever had. And I'm finding that it really works for me right now to not have to think about all the other things that come with startup life—which had been my dream for the longest time.
Thanks for the comment! It was my birthday recently and I have been thinking about exactly this (you'd think I'd have a better answer haha)..as well as deciding where to go next. And that, I am more clear on.
1) Thank you for taking the time to share.
2) That's amazing! I'm glad you found yourself moved to explore your inner workings as a result of your experience.
3) As I read your response I was shook by how many commonalities we shared.
- I didn't feel comfortable calling myself a poet until a month and a half ago (and then wrote about it), much less share my poetry.
- My birthday was on the 21st
- One of my dreams earlier in my professional life was to create a startup. That led me to engulf anything thing startup related (i.e. podcasts, newsletters, etc.) Now I don't take any of it in - it gives me the yucks for the most part. Groups like indiehackers are awesome though.
- This year was about embracing the moniker "artist/writer" as it was something I never considered myself to be.
*Your answer was great!
Okay, now that I have recovered from the great coincidence that is discovering we have the same birthday, I am back and settled into a few more thoughts/notes related to your Q (consider this the semi-official follow-up to this post?):
I also felt my original answer was kind of vague mostly because I hadn’t really thought through it fully enough, but I always like to make things tangible. So tangibly: since this post 6+ months ago, I’ve lost 1 paid subscriber (gained none), more than doubled my free subscribers, doubled my recommendations. Practically, I’ve taken on another freelance contract which means for now I’m in no rush to make money. When I wrote the post, I was feeling some anxiety around a) aging (after discovering that medically I am considered geriatric haha) and b) everyone saying AI was going to take over and therefore had set a deadline to make x amount of money so that I would have a plan B when the gigs stop coming. What actually happened is I didn’t come financially any closer to making a significant amount of money on Substack. So still figuring it out! BUT what I have settled on is only writing things I feel compelled to write, and getting super clear about what moves me. (Also getting super clear on my ideal reader for my creative goals, not for metrics.) For now, I’ve also detached from content and editorial calendars and growth tactics (not on Notes except to reply when tagged). Strategically I don’t think it makes sense to be that strict on myself until at least my readership gets to the point where the trade off makes sense. I’d rather be loose and gentle about it until I achieve, as they say, “proof of concept”. So I’m currently looking at 1000 free subs as my first internal milestone where I’ll attempt another push for paid (I have a paid subscription offering I’m super excited about but realize it makes no sense to launch it now). And then re-strategize from there but otherwise just to write what I feel like writing. In the meantime, I’m making money and surviving in other ways, learning to make art for the first time (a project separate to Substack but that can be connected), and buying art because I can happily afford to do so (something I touched on in this post, the irony that many of the artists I look up to who are heavily bylined and “famous” but don’t have that same privilege).
This is where I have landed for now, but it’s taking me longer than I thought to make the transition, which is part of the anxiety (ie maybe I’m just not cut out). I honestly think there are still many parts of me and my brain that are so heavily influenced by tech/startup/growth culture that they are negatively impacting my growth in other ways. (Like my desire to keep up with the content machine is directly at odds with the deep work that’s required to make art.) I’m learning to untangle from them.
To your point, I have a feeling that there are many more people like us who are recently starting to embrace the “artist” moniker. :) This notion is exciting!
Wow!
Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. I am now just as curious about your medically diagnosed geriatric-ness (no need to share if it's private) as I am about your creative journey.
I LOVE that you're moving towards writing things that move you too. Most would think that'd be easy to do but, like you mentioned, the residuals of a business mindset can make it challenging.
I'm also hopeful for your untangling and can only imagine how your other art project will bless you in that pursuit!
Here's to being artists 🍻
It’s a strange experience looking somewhat young but entering an age where as a woman, if I were to have children, it’d be considered a geriatric pregnancy aka “advanced maternal age”. (Over 35.) I was kind of shocked to learn this because I don’t feel that old. But it was definitely a reminder: hey, time’s ticking! Haha.
Here’s to!
You don't look "old" at all! But, I know the sentiment lol
The difference between 30 and 34 for me has been the need to ice parts of my body after playing basketball or pickleball 🤣
I will respond with more later but lol quick note because talk about commonalities: my birthday is also the 21st. (Happy birthday to us both!)
That's CRAZY! lol
Jamal, I’m so glad you shared this when you did. And how funny, I too am a retired copywriter and what is it about us that moves me! In the business of moving people - yes 🔥
Great call Yelena! As a coach and athletic director that is literally what drives me!
Hey Ana, I'm glad Jamal restacked this! I haven't been on substack long and I'm still trying to understand the app, it's functionalities and opportunities and this gave me some clarity. Thanks for sharing your journey with us :)
Thank you, Angèle! I missed your comment earlier but am glad I found it and your Substack. <3
“I am not a product.” This resonated so hard! Like, why is everything about now about sales? And I am secretly wondering if this search for monetizing is the right path? Arn’t we as artists and poets supposed to be poor? Live 27 odd years and die poor as well? I guess the suffering artist path isn’t the answer, neither is measuring your worth based on data. My brain’s running wild now - thank you for this! Loved reading every bit of it!!
Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment, Maria!
I feel like I've recently realized that it's a very different thing to be an artist running a business vs a business trying to make art. I've always tended to see things through the lens of business, and money (then likes/engagement) as a form of validation. But maybe the artist in me, the one that cares more about self-validation (ie. is this true and real to me?), is just dying to get out. I've based entire career decisions on trying to stay away from the suffering artist path (side gigs, multiple jobs, getting into tech) but to some degree I feel like it's almost necessary that artists allow ourselves to suffer a bit, in ways including but not limited to financial suffering. For me, it was getting out of the startup grind, and now slowly yet steadily, detaching myself from the startup mentality. Suffering is a form of aliveness and if I want the good stuff, I'm going to have to learn how to deal with putting things out and getting no external validation and doing it anyway regardless of "the data doesn't support moving forward with this". The trick is figuring out how not to suffer too much whilst in the throes haha.
2024 is the year I get closer, I think!! Happy to have you here. <3
Wowowow ! This post has summed up everything that we have been going through as well! But wowie! The line about expansion! The line about softness! THIS “but have I not already succeeded in getting to spend my days doing things I enjoy?”!!!!!!! It’s all so good! Love love the new name as well
Ps. We reached out to you on instagram a few days ago but from the post I’m guessing there should be a better platform to connect with you (one which doesn’t require quite so much transaction). Pls let us know! We are truly big big fans
<3 Thank you! This means so much. Likewise, I’m a big fan of PTK too! I’ve been off IG for a few months now but can always be reached via email ana@ana-wang.com. (I think replies to the newsletters auto-forward to me too.) Looking forward!